The Reckoner!

Love this question. Love it.

If you could only eat meat from animals you personally killed, would you eat meat?

Vegetarians, there are barley puffs and dandelion juice for you in the next room.  We'll catch up with you in a minute.


So we know cheeseburgers are great, short ribs braised in veal stock may be even greater, and bacon-wrapped turduckens are proof that sanity is overrated.  

And we also know that they come from formerly living, sentient, perhaps fuzzy and cute animals.  And we've probably been made aware that some ugly stuff happens between their birth and their final destination in the styrofoam panorama of your grocery store meat section.  Maybe you think of this every now and then and feel a little sad before going all velociraptor on that rare ribeye, but then it's over and you're happy again.  Never mind that the next piece of flesh you eat will come from an animal who got just as killed.

So, what if you didn't have the privilege of detaching from the killing part?  What if Perdue hung up his hatchet, Jimmy Dean shut down the sausage grinder and went back to singing "Big Bad John", and others followed suit until no one was left to do the dirty work for you? 

What if you could only eat meat if you killed it yourself?   

You don't have to hunt or butcher it. When you want a burger, a healthy, robust 1660 lb. cow will appear in your living room or yard, along with fail-safe supplies for killing it humanely. You just have to touch it on the forehead, look it in the eye, and do the deed.

Clean-up will be magical and instantaneous except for your hands, which you will have to wash yourself.  All the meat and other parts of the animal will be available for your use or consumption stored in a conveniently located freezer.  You can bring it to your favorite restaurants and have them prepare it for you if you like.

It's almost dinnertime. 

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Reckoning Comments!

There are people out there aghast at the concept of synthetic meat.

Let me tell you, folks, I love the concept of synthetic meat.  I love meat in almost all of its permutations -- be it filleted, ground, or sausage-ed -- but I happen to also love animals, and there is just a touch of cognitive dissonance between those two ideas.  If you can give me the meat at anything close to the quality of the real thing, but spare the animals, I'd be all over it.

If you, however, dump me on a farm where it's kill Babe and Ginger from Chicken Run or go meatless, that'd probably be the end for me.

Except for fish.  Because fish are stupid. 

Hunger has a very focusing effect.  I suspect by the time the 7th day without food hit, just about anybody would be willing to eat just about anything, self killed or not.

Meh, you're making it too easy.  If you have to do it yourself, the hard way, it's dirty and messy and no way would I be able to do it myself.  Although Larry is probably right, after a few times I'd toughen up and find it easier to do.


"I suspect by the time the 7th day without food hit..."

The alternative I envisioned to killing your own meat in the hypo was to become a vegetarian.  Are you suggesting that it's preferable to starve than to be a vegetarian? :)

I'm  a meat eater, but I am MORE an animal lover! I do not want my meat to look like anything it came from...if you get my drift.  Preparing the turkey for Thanksgiving dinner is a feat for me because it still looks like a turkey.

As much as I love that juicy steak or delicious hamburger, if I had to kill that poor animal myself, I would be strictly a vegetarian. Even if I were starving, I would eat roots and grass or whatever edibles I could find before I would kill an animal and eat it. Just not me.

The Reckoner!