Which Jurassic Park sequel was *worse*? The Lost World, or Jurassic Park III?
Jurassic Park was a pretty good movie. I'm going to crawl out on a limb and make that bold claim. Actually, it was a great movie that involved astonishingly lifelike dinosaurs eating lawyers and menacing jeeps and learning how to operate doorknobs.
I recall the electricity that preceeded the release of Jurassic Park: The Lost World quite fondly. It was the Summer of '97. The dulcimer sounds of Chumbawumba's Tubthumping filled the air. DVDs were just making their first impression in our lives. These were heady times where the economy roared like a locomotive that just couldn't be stopped by anything, and boy were we right.
And as a capper to this, we were getting another Jurassic Park movie. And this one promised, somehow, in some way, to be BIGGER and BETTER. Rumors had it that a T-REX was going to get loose in the Continental United States. Holy crap!
So we all piled into our bitchen 1987 Chevy Celebrity station wagon to take it in on opening weekend, sparing precious vacationary minutes while down in the Outer Banks of North Carolina to see dinosaurs eat more people and just be their dinosaur selves all over the place. The only thing that could kill our buzz was the fact that we ended up seeing Jurassic Park: The Lost World, and not the Jurassic Park sequel we had created in our heads.
Sure, there were plently of exciting moments, but I distinctly recall wishing grim death on all of the characters from just about the moment I met them. It was one thing for the kids in the first movie to make repeated blunders to put their lives in danger -- they were kids. If you're an adult dinosaur expert infiltrating an island named The Island of Death that you know to be infested with deadly dinosaurs, however, you really have no excuse to be idiots like these people are.
We watched it. We convinced ourselves that we liked it -- enough to initially mask our disappointment anyway -- and went home. Then we let our suppressed anger marinate for fifteen or so years until we realized that we hated it and that it was a huge letdown.
Then there's Jurassic Park III, whose major sin is its manifest 'meh'-ness. Believe me, there are no stories out there about how Jurassic Park III ruined some family's vacation. That's its sin. Making a sequel to Jurassic Park forgettable.
So tell me, Reckonauts! Which sequel was worse? The Lost World, or Jurassic Park III?