Which NFL quarterback has the better name?
Week 17 of the NFL is upon us. That means America is riveted by the Eagles' quest for an 8-8 season! Also, several other teams will be playing, according to the newspapers and whatnot. But that's not what we're talking about today.
Today, we're having a name battle! A challenge of contoids! A donnybrook of diphthongs!
You see, part of being an NFL quarterback is that you've got to have the name of an NFL quarterback. If your name is Nathaniel Snervley, it's not going to happen for you, and I don't care if you can throw a football through a milk crate at eighty yards. If your name is Derek Danforth, then we'll talk.
Look at today's star quarterbacks. Tom Brady. Good God, you say 'Tom Brady' and it's hard not to say 'All-American' right after it, as if by reflex. Peyton Manning. Drew Brees. Aaron Rodgers. Joe Flacco. Cam Newton. Matt Stafford. Sam Bradford. Brad Samford. Matt Bradstaff. Ben Roethle... Rothlei... Ro... ah, hell, forget about him for a moment.
But if you ask me, there are two current QBs who have by far the best names to say:
- Tim Tebow
- Jesus was apparently tied up yesterday with all of the early birthday celebrations, so he threw 4 interceptions. But he's still got an awesome name. Tim Tebow. Tebow. Tim Tebow. Alliteration, for the win.
- Tony Romo
- Besides being almost too good for heckling Eagles, Giants, and Redskins fans to use, it manages to pack three long-O sounds in eight letters. That's efficient!
Two names enter, but only one can leave. Say 'em out loud if you need to. Just tell me, Reckonauts, which NFL quarterback has the better name?