The Reckoner!

Christmas: Spend It All In One Place or on I-70?

My wife and I have been married for 4 years. Every year we have the same fight: where to go for the holidays?

The problem is: I'd rather just pick ONE family to spend the holiday with. We don't get enough time with either family. At my sister's in the morning, we leave just when things get started. Then we get to my partner's uncle's house in Kansas City just as everyone's leaving for the night.  Also, I don't get much time off work, and spending a portion of it on the road turns what could be a relaxing trip spending quality time with one of our families into a stressful drive.

My partner disagrees. She feels it is important to both our families to see us on Christmas and have a chance to spend some time with us on the actual holiday. 

Other details that might impact your decision:

  • Splitting up is not an option--where she goes, I go and vice versa.
  • The holiday is equally important to both our families.
  • Outside of the holidays, we see the family only once or twice a year.
  • We don't have children, but I have three wonderful nephews and she has an adorable new niece.

Eventually we hope to have the holiday at our house, but this isn't feasible yet, and both families have long-standing traditions of doing the holiday with extended family at their homes.  So what should we do?

Reckoning Results!
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Reckoning Comments!

You don't mention how far you have to drive, but judging from the fact that you're taking I-70 into KC, I imagine it's quite a haul.

In this case, since you only see your families once a twice a year as it is, I'd say to just do the split for now.  It stinks, believe me -- I hate spending all of the Holidays on the road with The Official Significant Other of The Reckoner as well, but whaddyagonna do?  Alternating means that one of you goes two years seeing your family once.  It seems like you both seem to genuinely like your families, so that's also a raw deal.

Quality over quantity.  Maybe you can see one for New Years or Thanksgiving instead?

We're talking family here.  Presummably they love you and want whats best for you.  I suggest doing the traditional Thanksgiving/Christmas alternating year swap if possible.

Spending all your time on the highway during the holidays is no fun.

The Reckoner!