Yes, folks, it's Christmas Eve! It's the night of the year when all the good Gentile girls and Gentile boys carefully lay out their Santa bribes (I heard Santa prefers Oreos, and doublestuff will merit better gifts), and hurry off to bed before their Aunts and Uncles tuck into their fourth eggnog of the night.
Naw, that's cynical. And I love Christmas! And I love Hannukah! And I even love Kwanzaa, even if the Offical Kwanzaa website is straight out of 1998. Because despite all the stress, the gift wrestling, the travel, the worry, the family fights, it's something we all have in common -- once a year, right when the wind gets cold and the days are shortest, we get together and try to really love each other. We take a moment, shut everything else down, and just focus on the other people in our lives, not the other things, the other worries, the other concerns, the other ambitions, the other everything.
Of course, at The Reckoner!, it's the other everything that's all the fun! We've had a barrage of holiday-themed questions over the past few weeks, so here is a roundup of all the merriment so far:
- Anonybot helped a young married couple decide on whether to spend all Christmas on the road or under the mistletoe. The answer: start making out.
- We learned that if you're going to a Christmas party, you really can't go wrong with booze. Sweet, life-giving booze.
- We learned that my family is a bunch of Christmas-scofflaws for our habit of opening our gifts today instead of tomorrow.
All this and more is available under the 'Holidays' tag.
Folks, have a safe one. Have a great one. Talk with your family. Love 'em. Watch A Christmas Story seventeen times. And if you get into any arguments along the way, use The Reckoner! to solve them.
We wish you all the best, and we're looking forward to seeing you on the 26th. We'll leave the lights burning for you!
Folks, The Reckoner! never stops surprising me. Never. Most of the time it's ruining my life by virtue of decisions that didn't go my way, but what the heck. Isn't that what having a child is all about? You pour your life into it, it grows up, gets surly and teenaged, then runs out and and changes the settings on your thermostat and tells you you're mounting the toilet paper wrong on its roll?
We just wrapped up Week 3 of this magical Reckoner experience, so let's go to the tape to see what we've determined!
- We learned that Gossip Girl and Glee are such guilty pleasures that no one even wanted to even vote on it.
And The Reckoner likes Geekadelphia!
Yessir, the fine folks over at Geekadelphia were nice enough to give us a great writeup on the site (and the bountiful, joyful procrastination it enables) this morning!
This is a dream-come-true for Reckonbot, who has been reading Geekadelphia ever since it learned that such a portmanteau existed and had a home on the Internet! Welcome to the folks to swing on by from Geekadelphia. Stay awhile! Stay forever!
Folks, at the conclusion of today, The Reckoner will have been live for 2 full weeks! That's two weeks and 6,000+ votes of rootin', tootin' rip-snorting Reckoning action!
Given all of that activity, I'd like to take a moment to reflect on some of the things we've learned. It is the solemn educational mission of The Reckoner to find and distill the essence of modern life, and think we've gotten a heaping faceful of modern life so far on this site, I tell you what.
So far, we've learned:
- When the big one drops, most folks want to see this world right through to its leather and badass-biker strewn end.
- There is only one person on Earth who reuses their dental floss, and they asked the rest of the world about it.
Howdy folks! The Reckoner rodeo has a brand new member to its cast of characters! Anonybot 3000!
Scavenged from the same South Philly autoyard where I first found Reckonbot, Anonybot is a Personal Decision Anonymizer! That means it's capable of taking the stickiest and most embarrassing of Reckonings and scraping your personal information right off of it. Anonybot is so good at its job, even Reckonbot has no idea who posted that question!
Anonybot is incidentally also a Technics SA-8000X stereo receiver, but it has a fun red bow on its case, suggesting that it's a female robot, a la Ms. Pac-Man. And just like Ms. Pac-Man, she's extremely good at consuming electricity, eating quarters, and causing you to flunk your eighth-grade chemistry exam.
Say hello to her next time you're on the site!